The Journey of "Grey Scale" Short Documentary: How it went (Part II)

THE DAY

Grey Scale was to be screened after “Can’t Run, Can’t Hide” - a story about a community's resilience in fighting for a safe and healthy environment against a highly polluting factory that is operating in their backyard.

16 September 2022. It was Malaysia Day, and it was also the awaited day when Grey Scale premiered on the big screen at the Freedom Film Fest (FFF) 2022, at PJ Live Arts. Looking back, I have attended a number of FFF events since 2010 as an audience, but I have never thought of actually making a documentary myself and having it screened in front of live audiences. The days leading up to the premiere felt rather unreal, and I was just going through with the motions like a lucid dream.

Back in May 2021 when Andrew and I pitched the documentary, I didn’t expect this 20-minute short documentary film would take 1.5 years to make. At first, the pandemic lockdown and the travel restrictions felt like an unwelcomed disruption to the shooting schedules.

But as the days extended into months, and months into a year (and a few months more), I began to realize that this story needed time to unfold the facets of my aunt’s life. Such stories tend to tell itself, and it cannot be rushed.

THE MASTERCLASS OF POST-EDITING

There were concerns about whether the footage we had collected would be sufficient to piece together a story worthy of an audience. Little did we know, we likely had an excess to choose from, and the key to creating a compelling narrative is often "less is more." We were privileged to have the guidance of Adrien Faucheux, a true luminary in the realm of filmmaking and directing, who generously devoted his time and shared his extensive knowledge to shape Grey Scale into the story it is today. I eagerly looked forward to every online session with him. Diligently, I would jot down copious notes as he provided his insights and critiques on the drafts. As this marked my first venture into filmmaking, it felt like a masterclass, and I absorbed a wealth of knowledge from Adrien.

There were several instances when my vision for the storyboard fell short: such as attempting to convey too many messages simultaneously, when a specific scene failed to contribute to the story's continuity, and when I neglected to leave ample room for the audience's imagination. There were also moments when we had to advocate vigorously for the inclusion of a particular scene, which truly tested our confidence in defending it. In the end, when Adrien gave his final nod of approval, affirming that the story had come together seamlessly, we felt an overwhelming sense of elation and relief. Truly, without these 'sparring sessions,' Grey Scale would not have evolved into what it is today. For that, I am eternally grateful.

THE SCREENING

However, I was still unprepared for the film's public viewing, mainly because it's such a personal story. I wasn't certain how deeply people would connect with it or if they could grasp the broader message within the film. Given that it was my debut film, I had no expectations, and perhaps that was for the best.

But when Aunty Irene's voice filled the darkened hall, my anxiety began to dissipate. That familiar voice, which I had listened to countless times during the extended post-production nights, was now being heard publicly for the very first time. And just like that, the story that I held so dearly was released to the world.

I'll never forget the atmosphere in the hall that evening. I was seated in the second row, to the left of the screen. Though it was difficult to discern the audience's faces in the dim light, I could sense the emotions hanging thick in the air. It began with a burst of laughter during the scene where Aunt Irene spoke about the lizard she regularly feeds during lunch. Then came gasps when she waded precariously through knee-deep water in her flooded living room after an hour of torrential rain. Finally, quiet tears flowed as the documentary concluded, accompanied by black and white photos of Aunt Irene from her younger days scrolling through the credits.

Witnessing people's reactions to the story was a surreal experience. It was overwhelming in many ways, yet it also radiated warmth. After the screening, individuals approached me to share their own Grey Scale stories and how they related themselves and their loved ones to the broader narrative.

AGEING IN PLACE

A screen-capture from a scene in Grey Scale where Aunty Irene listens to a broadcasted press statement on the pandemic lockdown.

"Ageing in place" has long been an unspoken yearning, a desire without a name for many. It surpasses the confines of mere bricks and mortar; it's about being near to those who care and hold you dear. It entails dwelling within a community thoughtfully designed for the elderly, providing a nurturing environment that upholds their dignity. It means residing in a space where essential amenities, support, and the motivation to preserve an independent lifestyle are readily available. It embodies the very essence of embracing a life well-lived, even as our bodies age.

Ultimately, this was the message I sought to convey while creating this film. In a world far from perfection, the consequences of a fractured society and the broken systems we endure weigh even heavier on the elderly. Be it in matters of health, finances, safety, security, housing, or overall well-being, our society would benefit immensely from prioritizing the needs of the elderly today. Malaysia, in particular, is transitioning into an aging nation. It is particularly disconcerting to know the fact that a majority of its elderly population lack adequate safety nets to fall back on.

GRATITUDE

I am grateful that my husband, Andrew, was in this journey with me from beginning to end. He was my sounding board, my co-DoP, my editor, my motivator and my pillar of support whenever I doubted myself. Without him, I wouldn’t even think about pitching this documentary story back in May 2021. He made a promise to do this alongside with me from day one, and he kept to this promise even a year later as he constantly promotes the documentary and help organize public screenings in multiple places.

As a seasoned documentary filmmaker with years of experience and several films under his belt, Andrew graciously took a "sabbatical" from his own projects to support mine. He sacrificed the opportunity to produce his own film for the past couple of years, a gesture for which I can never express enough gratitude. Now, it's my turn to wholeheartedly support him as he embarks on a new film project.

Andrew as the DoP. His constant emphasis on getting the audio quality right has been a saving grace for the documentary’s final output.

My heartfelt thanks to the amazing team behind FFN, Anna Har, Brenda Danker and Albert Bansa, for providing their relentless commitment to support filmmakers like me. Thanks for all the grace and patience given to me, and for being so understanding when I cannot meet certain requests on time.

I would like to also extend my deepest thanks to my friends who traveled from near and far to attend Grey Scale's premiere (some of my friends even came with their children - good to start them young!), as well as to the various screenings that took place in different parts of Malaysia. I appreciate everyone who helped spread the word about Grey Scale whenever I shared it on social media, ensuring that more people could discover its story. My special thanks to Chin Lijin for sending her parents (who were visiting from Sarawak) to attend the premiere because she had prior commitments. While it was my first time meeting them, they were very sweet and offered very kind words of encouragement. Along this journey of making and showcasing the film, I've been fortunate to forge meaningful connections and friendships that I have kept to this day.

That said, I’d like to also extend my thanks to all the partners, speakers (Lily Fu from Seniors Aloud, Melissa Chin from Think City, Assoc Prof Dr Saidatulakmal from USM, Amelia Neoh from Malaysia Institute of Planners Northern Branch) and organizers (The Bendahari, George Town Literature Festival, Malaysia Urban Forum, Seniors Aloud, Champs Education Center, HAUS KCH, Happy Learning Books 學樂書苑, Gerontological Society of Singapore), and many more who made all the screenings across different states in Malaysia possible. My life has undeniably become richer and more fulfilling thanks to Grey Scale, in ways I could never have imagined.

And lastly, but by no means less significant, I want to shine a spotlight on Aunty Irene—the star of Grey Scale. Her authenticity and unwavering determination to live independently have not only captured the hearts and stirred the imaginations of all who have watched the documentary but have also transcended the boundaries of her own life to touch the lives of countless others.

I extend my deepest gratitude for Aunty Irene's gracious willingness to open her life to the gaze of strangers, granting them the opportunity to find a reflection of themselves in her story. Her patience and grace prevailed as she endures my numerous camera visits, the countless requests for her to repeat what she just said, and the direction on where to walk, where to sit, and what to do. As time passed, a meaningful transformation takes over, where the once-noticeable camera gradually faded into the background, becoming nothing more than a silent, almost-invisible observer. And the conversations just flow naturally between an aunt and her niece. No scripts, no expectations, no rush.

What began from a structured storyboard became a story that has taken on a life of its own, serving as a wellspring of inspiration and hope for many. I am genuinely humbled by the privilege of bringing this personal but relatable narrative to the screens, where it has been received very warmly by kind strangers.

AND FINALLY…

If you’ve read until the end of this post, thank you. And perhaps you might be wondering why it took me a year to write this post. In fact, I wrote this post halfway last year in September, which coincided with the time I made a major shift in my career. Things took off immediately and I just wasn’t in the headspace to return to my website and write anything at all. Which is why the last post was in August 2022.

I don’t really know what prompted me to come back to this post to finish it tonight. I suppose if I don’t do it now, there are so many other stories that have come along which I am not able to tell unless I am done with this one. And I am not done with this one yet, actually.

To keep it short, Grey Scale went on to win the Best Film Grantee at the FFF 2022. This was announced at the final day of the festival, which is a day after Grey Scale premiered at PJ Live Arts. It came as an unexpected surprise, and the announcement came with a trip to IDFA in Amsterdam sponsored by the embassy of the Kingdom of the Netherlands in Malaysia. One of these days, I will write about my experience at IDFA and how that made a deep mark in my self-identity (read: imposter syndrome).

At one of the grand halls where IDFA events were held throughout the 2 weeks.

There will be a few more posts in this series about Grey Scale, which I hope to upload more frequently (at least another post or two before 2023 ends!). One of them will be about the Impact Grant, which is meant to facilitate on-the-ground programs, using the film as a vehicle for change. That is another project in itself, and I am quite excited to see how this will unfold with the continuous support by colleagues from Freedom Film Network.

Thank you for reading until the end of this long post. In the day and age where longform is almost a thing of the past, you are a real one :)